By Andrea Goto
Before a Zoom meeting, I go to great lengths to find just the right background, lighting and angle to make me look like anything other than the elongated head boasting ruddy skin and tired eyes that stares back at me. I know what I look like, and I like how I look, but there’s something in the Zoom coding that transforms us into something we don’t want to look at, but can’t look away from either.
I’ve tried natural light, a Ring light, even stage makeup. Nothing seems to work. Instead of listening to what others are saying in a meeting, I’m staring at my reflection on the screen thinking, “What the hell?
About 5 minutes ago, I learned that Zoom offers a “touch up my appearance feature to soften our lines and improve our coloring. Did you know this? And if you did, why didn’t you tell me? Oh, right, we like to keep beauty secrets.
“Did you get a boob job?
“Noooooooo. Never.
Sure, you miraculously sprouted Double-Ds at the age of 45.
It’s not any of my business, but I do think it’s a disservice to others when people pretend that they’re just naturally hairless or that their wrinkles dissolved from being “well rested. I think of those middle-aged, super-lean celebrities who say they eat whatever they want and never work out. And I think very little of them. Because that’s just not nice.
But back to Zoom. I don’t like it. I also don’t like that we’re in a pandemic and forced to work from home. There is, however, some silver lining to all this. We’ve got some real downtime we can take advantage of. Pre-COVID, you had to use your vacation time to recover from plastic surgery. Even some non-surgical procedures, like chemical peels or laser skin resurfacing, might’ve had you dodging the office for a couple of days. But with Zoom we can either opt out of video or use that filter to its fullest potential. And there’s no need to disguise anything from the neck down. You could have bags of frozen peas strapped to your chest and no would be the wiser.
According to a recent study by the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS), people have a very positive view of plastic surgery during the time of COVID. More than 49% of people surveyed who had never had plastic surgery indicated that they’re open to it. And of those people, 28% are now considering it.
One might expect to see a rise in procedures from the neck up and particularly eyelifts thanks to masks. But actually—and probably thanks to Zoom—the ASPS study found that the most popular non-surgical, elective procedures during this time are Botox and fillers. The most sought-after surgical procedures actually include breast augmentation, liposuction and abdominoplasty (and in that order).
So what I’m thinking is that Zoom has offered us two things beyond a way to work from home: a long, hard look at our face, and the time to make the head-to-toe changes we may want.
