Aging gets real when you wake up with an unwanted 5 o’clock shadow
By Andrea Goto
I was properly warned by my girlfriends in the know that turning 40 would ignite a series of unexpected—and mostly unfortunate—bodily events. But at the youthful and naïve age of 39, I thought, “Nah. Not me. I work out, eat healthy, and generally take care of myself. I got this.”
I do not “got this.”
What I do have in place of that once blissful ignorance is sweat in new and strange places, intermittent short-term memory loss, back fat (I mean, what the hell?), and just last week I woke up with a beard.
Okay, so it wasn’t a beard. But it wasn’t that sudden, either. Based on its length, I must’ve been growing the unwanted facial hair for some time. I’m not sure why I didn’t notice it before, or why that particular morning it was freakishly apparent. We were visiting family in Los Angeles, so maybe the lack of humidity made what was the faint, angel-soft undercoating suddenly stand at attention. I was horrified. I was furry.
The fur coated my jawline. As I examined it closely in the mirror, backcombing it to see its full length and extensive coverage, whispered expletives slipped from my lips. I immediately went to my 11-year-old daughter, who has no filter (useful at times like this), and asked if my face looked different to her.
“You have a beard!” she squealed with an inappropriate amount of surprise and delight.
I immediately ran to the bathroom, picked up my husband’s razor and shaved my face. I shaved. My. Face.
When I told my husband, he recoiled in horror. “Won’t it grow back darker and thicker?!”
I’m hoping it’s an old wives’ tale. But I’m also afraid of making a habit of stealing my husband’s Gillette double-blades with the moisturizing strip. Worse yet, I’m afraid of needing them.
Luckily, I’m not the only woman to suffer from the unwanted fuzz (and let’s just agree that all fuzz is unwanted unless it’s attached to an angora bunny or chinchilla). Which means that there are viable solutions that don’t include changing my name to Andre.
After shaving (just don’t), there’s the option of laser hair removal. In addition to being a permanent fix, it’s relatively painless. Plus, the treated area will only appear a little sunburnt afterward a quick 30- to 45-minute procedure—which still beats razor burn.
The other option is dermaplaning. This procedure involves brushing a surgical scalpel against the skin in quick and repeated upward movements. Like shaving, it’s entirely painless, causes no residual “sunburn,” but dermaplaning has the added benefit of providing a deep and effective exfoliation, which evens out texture and pigmentation. While it doesn’t provide permanent hair removal, dermaplaning does keep unwanted facial hair at bay for around 4-6 months.
So shave your legs. Shave your ice. Just leave your face to the professionals.
Have questions about how to get rid of unwanted hair? Request a consultation at Savannah Facial Plastic Surgery.
