The ears have it, too, unfortunately
By Andrea Goto
Aging affects every appendage, including the ears. But a little nip/tuck can bring those babies back into shape.
I get that gravity is super important when it comes to keeping me tethered to this earth, but does it really have to pull so hard that over time my skin appears to yearn more and more for the terra firma? The jowls, breasts, neck, the under-arm flappy skin—everything seems to be heading further south with every passing year. Not for winter, but forever.
This includes the ears. Currently, I do not have a droopy ear situation; my earlobes are pretty high and tight. But ladies who were in the workforce during the ‘80s and ‘90s dealt with some pretty heavy metal. I remember my mom sporting some sand dollar-sized Anne Klein gold-plated knots (with matching necklace and bracelet). Her little earlobes strained under the weight like overfilled water balloons. Over time, the earlobe’s elasticity is severely compromised and suddenly you’ve got yourself an Eeyore situation. Some earlobes even split (eek!).
That said, I don’t notice other women’s earlobes, just like people probably don’t notice my spongy kneecaps that make me crazy (we all have our things). But as you probably know by now, I’m all about “if it bugs you, fix it” (and when there’s a way to tighten the kneecaps so they look like Madonna’s, let me know).
I do, however, notice the millennials with those frighteningly large gauges in their ears. They freak me out, probably much the same way that my parents were alarmed in the ‘90s by my friends’ eyebrow and bellybutton piercings. All I can think is, “When you no longer want those gauges, you’re gonna have yourself a hula-hoop of an earlobe.” But learning that an earlobe repair procedure exists, puts me at ease. Go ahead and put those tea cup saucers in your ear, because you can always tighten up later.
Whether you intentionally stretched that earlobe beyond its natural capacity, or if gravity and Anne Klein did it for you, rest assured there’s a quick and relatively comfortable surgical fix.
Now, about those spongy knees…