By Andrea Goto
When people freaked out about the Peloton Bike holiday commercial, I didn’t get what all the fuss was about. Maybe it’s because I intentionally book hotels based on if they have a Peloton in their gym, then monopolize it until my husband thinks I’ve been kidnapped and sends a search party. Or maybe it’s because I don’t try to find the subtext in the gifts my husband gives me. We’ve known one another for a quarter of a century—we’re way beyond subtext.
Which brings me to why men shouldn’t read too much into the Peloton Husband backlash that rebuked him for giving his wife a present to help her look and feel better—a present that we shouldn’t assume she didn’t want. Not only does this shame men, but it also harms us because now our husbands, in fear of being chastised, might not get us the things we really want. Great for the chocolate, flowers and perfume industries. Bad for relationships.
While perfectly in-line with Valentine’s Day merch, chocolate, flowers and perfume lack imagination. They say “I love you.” But after 25 years, I know my husband loves me. What I love, however, is when he shows how well he knows me. (See what I did there?)
A cosmetic procedure as a Valentine’s Day gift from my husband—be it Botox, fillers, lifts or peels—doesn’t say, “I think you’re old an unattractive.” It says, “I know you’d love this and probably wouldn’t buy it for yourself,” which is also known as: The Best Gift Ever.
Men confuse me. I don’t know why they think watching their own kid is babysitting, why they’re physically incapable of folding a shirt, or why they spend an excessive amount of time on the toilet as life passes them by. But I do know women. Here’s the thing: we don’t want to tell you what we want; we want you to know what we want. I mean, why is that so confusing?
Consider this some friendly, womanly wisdom just in time for Valentine’s Day: Call up a board-certified facial plastic surgeon (this is not the time to cut corners, after all) and get the woman in your life a gift certificate (see, you don’t even have to know the difference between dermaplaning and microneedling). Let her pick what she wants from the menu, and watch as her face lights up.
Depending on the procedure, that light could last a really long time. At least until Mother’s Day.
